


I apologize

by MissInnocence



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: F/F, apology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 05:30:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14730869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissInnocence/pseuds/MissInnocence
Summary: I know you hate me, but please let me explain





	I apologize

**Author's Note:**

  * For [inkwolf222](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkwolf222/gifts).



You see. I truly know how we came to this. I miss you like crazy. But I know why I did what I did. And you'd hate it even more. 

 

I chose lies above my own heart and pushed you away. For the fact that I could never have what I loved most. I chose the lies of others instead of standing by your side. Gods, I fucking lied. To myself. To you. Hoping it would make my emotions leave me behind. That they would die. Viking realized it after a while I suspect. I realized he, that nobody could ever be you. I chased others down because I could never have you. I stumbled into relationship after relationship after fucking relationship. To run from that fucking resented feelings. 

I do not love you like a sister. I outgrew that at sixteen. It was one of the reasons that relationship ended. Why the Nord and I ended. It was the reason why I broke it off with the priest. And then I broke it off with the Viking, you see I only loved my elf with her pointy ears. Gods I resent my choices because I made them feeling hurt, but I betrayed you. The one person I never wanted to betray. To hurt. You told me things in trust and I fucked you over. I did the same things, and I stood there like a hypocrite. Trying to forget you is even worst. Because I can't. You were never my sister, but you were the woman I loved more than anything else on this planet. I still do. We were inseparable even if we were miles apart. Why did I do it, I don't know. I guess it was fear. I just miss that soft little smile on your lips when you are fast asleep, your warm hugs, how ditzy you looked after reading a really, really good fanfiction. How you hurt yourself because of how much you cared for others.

I guess I became bitter in our friendship because I never had the courage to say hello, yes you. I fucking love you and I do not want to see you hurt and suffer. But I did all of that to you. I never spoke up because I knew it was unrequited. But hell thinking about going on without you knowing. I couldn't. I'd hate myself even more.

I am lost without you. At least I now found peace.

I know you won't forgive me. I don't forgive myself. I just wanted to apologize for all the pain I caused you.


End file.
